The Last Day of High School.

Tomorrow I will finish this chapter of my life. Yes, I have to wait until next week to move my tassel to the other side, but tomorrow is the last day I will wake up and rush to school (praying I’m not a second late for that 8 o clock bell) then sit in homeroom waiting for the day to begin.  My work at Desert Christian is done. I tried to be the best I could be and I have grown in more ways than I imagined when I first walked on campus in 2007. I have made lasting friendships. I have discovered what it means to be and have a true friend. Ya know, everyone says the time goes by fast and it most certainly does. I remember when i was a sophomore I had senior friends who were graduating. I wanted to be there so badly, but now I look back and feel like that was only a couple months ago. Now I’m about to graduate and I find myself missing those times when I didn’t have to be making such big decisions or preparing to say goodbye to my friends.

To those who are still on that journey: Enjoy it. Even if you are going through a tough time, make the most of it. Don’t let people bring you down. Don’t let people change who you truly are. Stay close to those who support and love you no matter what.

Thank you to all who made me who I am today. Thank you to those who never gave up on me. Thank you to my parents who taught me that i need to love people even they will not love me in return. Thank you to my sister and brother in law who taught me to trust in God always. Thank you to my church family who never failed to encourage me. Thank you to Lauren for always guiding through hard times and showing me so much about myself. Thank you to Randsom for listening to me for hours and always being so understanding.  Thank you to Mackie for always being honest with me and always looking out for me.

See you May 26th?

Senior Pitchers.

Some of my favorite Senior Pictures i have taken…

I forgot how good looking my friends are.

Wishing for the coming years…

 I obviously would never reveal what i wished for when i threw my penny in the fountain that day. But i am going to say 5 things i am wishing for in the next 5 years….

1.  Travel:

 

I don’t care where the opportunity would lead me. I would love to just see the world. I want to look on the map and be able to say, “Oh, yah…. I’ve been there. No Big Deal”. My top five places currently? New York City, Washington DC, England, Italy, and Germany. I also want to get to Austrailia, Chicago, Hawaii, Greece, Africa, and if i could ever get there, i think Tokyo would be incredible.

2. Weddings

I love anything and everything about weddings. I never ever get tired of hearing any details about anything wedding related. One of my favorite things to do is just sit in Bookmans and read all the wedding magazines. I dont know what it really is about them that capture my heart like nothing else. Sure, it is the “happily ever after”, but there is just even more to me than that. I would love to find a career that had something to do with weddings. That would be heaven on earth.

3. Aunthood:

This summer my sister and brother in law will be having there first baby. I find out on February 15th what it is. Pros for it being a boy? Everything. Pros for a girl? Bows. She could wear big bows all the time. Either way I will do so much for this kid. I want to help this kid reach all of their dreams and I want to be a great example for them. Im so excited to meet Baby Bush.

4. Iowa:

I love Iowa so much. All of my family began there. I would love to visit Iowa as much as i possibly can in the next 5 years. Everytime I go back, I learn something new about my family history and I love learning about my great great greats or meeting even more through a family reunion (AUGUST 2011!) I would love to dedicate a whole summer there some year.

5. Keep in contact. Meet even more.

In the next five years, i really hope i will have kept in touch with all the close friends i have now. I want to know all the great dreams they are accomplishing and all of the ways i can help them. I also want to meet new people! I want to have friends of all kinds.

my papa

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” 2 Timothy 4 : 7-8

Some men defeat armies.

Some build incredible bridges.

Some solve the world’s biggest mysteries.

People seem to believe that not one man could accomplish all of these things.

But surely, I have found a man that can.

On January 15^th 2011, My Papa went home to be with the Lord. He was 69 years old with a childlike heart that could’ve given him many more years. He had a smile that could lift anyone’s burdens. He had a heart that was overflowing with love.

Since my Papa’s passing I have been thinking about him non stop. I have lost sleep, found myself distracted in classes, and begun to cry when ever a memory of him is brought up. I know this is because of the deep grief I am feeling since I have lost one of my best friends. But I also think it relates to something completely different. More than anyone else who has passed in my life, I know my Papa is still there. I feel him around me. I listen to his sweet whispers. I hear his joyful laughter. At some points, this frustrates me because all I want to do is rewind time and hug him once more. I want to rewind time and listen to his stories. I want to rewind time and just to sit with him. But above all the realization of God’s presence and my Papa’s presence has been such a gift. I know it will help make each day a little easier.

I did find one man who could accomplish these great things. This man knew he could’ve never accomplished this without God. He knew that God is good.

He defeated every army that told him he couldn’t make it.

He built bridges that brought broken families and broken hearts back together in the end.

He solved mysteries of how to give love when you are given the opposite and how to find strength in the lowest moments of your life.

This man was my Papa.

 

My Black & White Photos

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

What gets to me…

I always tried so hard. Too hard.
And now I’m the one just trying so hard, probably too hard just to live a normal day        once again.

what happens when i read “dear john”.

                             A love that makes breath poor, and speech unable;
                               Beyond all manner of so much I love you.

forever

A best friend is someone who we can tell our secrets to, laugh with, cry with, and love unconditionally. I think more than anything we are all just looking for our best friend.

2011

To be completely honest, i would have never ever imagined that this is where i would be at the begining of a new year. 2010 was certainly a roller coaster of a year. I have felt so much happiness, but i have also experienced so much pain. I have tried so many new things, but i have also followed the same routine.

As all my fellow bloggers have been doing, I suppose this is the time where i am supposed to thank all the people who have been with me through this year. I guess i will start out with the people that have known me from the begining.

God: Even though i have no idea where You are taking me, i know i will be amazed with the stops along the way. I know You’re plans are much more exciting then mine would ever be. I wholeheartedly believe You know whats best and i trust You with everything. Thank You for walking with me even if sometimes i don’t acknowledge the You’re there. To my family: Thank you for always trying to understand where i am coming from. I am so grateful for everything you do for me and i know you will always be there for me. I thank the mother who is always there to listen, the dad who consistently makes me feel incredible value, the sister who will never stop fighting for me, the brother (inlaw) who always tries to see things my way, and of course, the three dogs who i can always tell me deepest secrets to. ;)Now I could never forget the girl with red locks (that everyone has copied). Most certainly my life would be a lot less fashionable and optimistic if i didnt have you. You always see the bright side. You’re such a strong, beautiful, and hopeful person. You will change the world. Next, add in the boy who never fails to give an arm bar when i give him some pathetic insult. Thank you too. I know you are going to go so far and I hope you know how much i believe in you. I will always support you. I hope you never forget me. Especially when you are making millions. Now no one could ever forget the boy with the hott hair. I am so thankful to be able to count on you. You are so brillant and talented. Never quit working towards your passions. I’m most certain you will accomplish incredible things.

Now to the ones who went away? Forgiveness comes a little bit with each day. I will never forget the memories and the lessons you taught me. I dont hate you. I realize that since you had the desire to start a whole new chapter, it forced me to do the same. Honestly, i used to think that if some people would leave i would be completely broken but now i am so upset that i thought so little of myself. I would never go to say that right now i am completely fine, but i have gained so much more respect and strength in who I am. And i don’t think i could have done it if i wasn’t alone.

And to the one to come. Come quick. I know you’re out there.

2010. It was tough, but necessary. I have grown up so much and i am finally coming in to my own. I am ready for 2011. I am ready to push myself in new ways and explore a whole new chapter in life. I want to travel, move out, go on a road trip, see disney again, meet new people, hold on to lasting friendships, and the list goes on…Ultimately, thank you 2010 for showing me who i am. I know that the years to come will reveal even more, but i will never forget the year i finally began connecting with myself.

From “Love Letters”

“I want to be in love so much it hurts. I want to be married with kids I adore and a husband who makes me feel safe, smart, secure, silly, serious, serene, and satisfied. I want someone who makes me laugh. I want to finish someones sentences. I want to believe in someone, in something, in a future that’s not just about laundry, soccer practices, subdivisons, and minivans. I want to make someone a better person. I want to be a good example. I want to love some kids into the world. I want to taste everything and go everywhere. I want to give and I want to get. I bet I want too much and I want it all in one person”